By Honorary Reporter Jessica Louvain from Brazil

Photos: Carine Lima

The number of expats working and studying in Korea has seen a large increase, and that of marriages between Koreans and non-Koreans has also risen. Last year, 7% of marriages in Korea were between Koreans and foreign nationals. The global boom in Hallyu, especially K-pop and K-dramas, have had many women abroad dreaming of meeting their "dream oppa (lover)."

Carine Lima is a Brazilian who lives with her Korean husband in Korea. This interview discusses how they met and her life in Korea.

Carine Lima started off interested in Japan but her attention quickly shifted to Korea after seeing a K-drama.

How did you get interested in Korea?
When I was 8, I got a book on global wonders featuring photos, natural beauty and human construction. I even looked at Hangeul at the time and said, "What is this language that you draw a ball?"

At the time, I was more into Japan so at age 23, I bought a computer to learn Japanese through self-study. A friend of mine who was into K-dramas introduced me to "Lie To Me," which has a famous Coke kiss scene. Since then, I've been hooked on Korea.

Carine Lima and her husband Kim Hong-seok met through a mutual friend and a language exchange.

How did you meet your Korean husband?
I met my husband Kim Hong-seok through a video call from a mutual friend. She introduced us and we later created a group in which we taught Portuguese to him and he taught Korean to us.

During the 2016 Rio de Janeiro Summer Olympics, he visited Brazil to meet me. He spent three months in Rio, and before returning to Korea, he proposed to me. I said yes.

The couple met in person in Brazil during the 2016 Rio de Janeiro Summer Olympics, and he proposed before flying back to Korea. 

You said you don't speak Korean and your husband doesn't speak Portuguese. How do you two communicate?

We speak "PoKorean," a mix of Portuguese and Korean. It's crazy, to be honest. Hong-seok and I just knew the basics of each other's native languages. It was an adventure through song lyrics, Google Translate and Brazilians who speak Korean.

Carine Lima makes kimchi with her mother-in-law.

How did your two families react when they learned of your marriage? And how do they feel about you two now?
At the time, I was an independent adult so I didn't need my parents' approval. But my family's opinion was important. For my husband, it was delicate since half of his family rejected us, while the other half had no opinion and just asked him to be careful.

Nowadays, everything is quite different. Our communication got better and our families are OK with us.

How was your wedding?
A wedding should be a joyous occasion, but I'd never cried so much in my life because of my marriage. It was stressful to the limit. Getting married in Korea is quite simple, as the government makes it easy to hold a ceremony.

In Brazil, however, just hearing the term "registration office" gives me the creeps since the process is so complicated due to lack of proper information and documentation and the absurd amount of time and money needed. In the end, we had both civil and religious ceremonies since we share the same religion.

Carine Lima hangs out with her Korean friends.

How has life been in Korea?
I'm studying Korean through a program sponsored by the Korean Immigration Service available to any foreign resident with a visa and Coreano Online, a digital platform for native speakers of Portuguese to learn Korean. I'm also active on social media platforms like YouTube, Instagram and Twitch. I'm also on a waiting list for a job here.

How have you adapted to Korean customs?
In my case, I've had to adapt to only the daily customs. My husband's family doesn't practice Korean traditions since he and I are Christian. My in-laws and his relatives are Buddhist, so we visit them on special dates but don't perform rituals. So whether traditional rituals are followed depends on the family.

Carine Lima and her husband celebrated their wedding anniversary in January this year.

How would you advise people in Brazil or elsewhere to meet Koreans?
Nowadays, interest in Korea has increased a lot. Social networks connecting people in Asia to those around the world are on the rise. Koreans prefer making friends or getting into a relationship through mutual friends, as in my case.

My advice is to join an interconnected group so that the friendship can last longer. To like someone is complicated. You must be aware that things can go wrong, as a relationship incurs risk. I don't recommend using dating apps because if something goes wrong, I don't want this on my conscience.

Carine Lima said that if a guy's pros outweigh his cons, he could be a woman's dream oppa.

Are Korean men as romantic, attentive and everything else as they are in K-dramas?
I've never had a relationship with a Brazilian man to make a comparison, but I've always been the talking point for many married women. When I compare relationships as shown on Brazilian and Korean TV, I can say parts are fiction and fact and that art can imitate life or not. You can find your "dream oppa," though to expect a guy to have every desired quality is an illusion, just like he wouldn't find the "Disney princess" in all women.

Though no Disney princess or dream oppa exist, both ideals have been inspired by real-life people. In fiction, one's flaws are omitted but they're visible in real life. I do believe, however, that if a guy's pros are greater than his cons, you've found your dream man.

Carine Lima shows a certificate qualifying her to get a job in Korea.

What would you say to those dreaming of going to Korea and maybe even living there?
Korea is a different country but has the desire to receive people from abroad. The government has several exchange programs, and immigration authorities have workshops for helping non-Koreans learn the language and enter the job market. But life in Korea isn't easy. Asians are not like Europeans and Americans in that they're extremely demanding and conduct their professional and personal lives differently.

Brazilians are quite different from others in the world. We have a lot of human warmth, like to socialize and accept foreigners. The culture shock in Korea can be strong for us, but we can overcome it with patience and good Brazilian humor.

That said, you'll be enchanted by the natural beauty of Korea and its urbanization. The country has a lot to offer.

kalhong617@korea.kr

*This article is written by a Korea.net Honorary Reporter. Our group of Honorary Reporters are from all around the world, and they share with Korea.net their love and passion for all things Korean.